The Hardest Part Pt. I - Never Waste a Crisis

I have been sitting on so many notes and have been reading and breathing and singing and sleeping and dreaming everything I can that involves anything to do with God to survive everyday. I have surprised myself in my strength but I should have known that I would be able to do it when I gave myself entirely to God.

After my divorce was final, getting that final paper was expected but not any less painful.

Then came Thanksgiving and now the Christmas season. The first batch of holidays I'll be without my husband, sorry, ex-husband (still hard to say) in 8 years. I am still heartbroken. . .

The Hardest Part is the title of this series because acceptance and moving on is hardest when you look at the fact that a man you planned to spend the rest of your life with, a man who you once thought you could never live a day without seeing, feeling, hearing, kissing, seeing. . . a man who was your husband, who is now a man turned stranger. . .

Typing those last few words still stings. I suppose it will sting for years. That right there is the hardest part in this divorce for me. My heart still loves him and my mind still misses him. But here is the good news. . . I am happy! Why, you ask? Because I have God. The only way to cope with my divorce, as with any crisis in life is to walk with God. I could sit here and give a testimonial about my faith journey and struggles through the years that led me to this point, but this series of posts will focus on how I am initially coping with being a divorcee.

God works in ways to make any message we hear apply to our lives and at my new church home, Cape Christian, here in Cape Coral, FL, we got done with a 3 week series that I used to gear my mind and my heart for the battle that lies ahead of me. A battle that is a blessing because of who I am becoming as I grow in my faith and relationship with Christ.

I took notes from this series and will share how I'm applying it to my divorce experience.

from Week 1 of Resilience: A study on the book of James (click the link to watch the series online for free! I recommend it!)

Never Waste a Crisis
This series started the day after I received the final dissolution of marriage paper so it couldn't had come at a better time in my life. I remember waking up that Sunday morning feeling so broken and hopeless. I remember crying on the way to church just begging God to hold me up. I also remember coming home and sharing these notes from that sermon to my mom, telling her how I was going to be alright and this was why:

In trials and tribulations, choose joy! not anger or bitterness
choose joy because of what it produces - perseverance and so that I won't be rattled in my faith

I know God is going to use the pains and struggles in my life to make me better. I choose to be joyful about that because I am excited about who I am going to become from it, what I will accomplish and who I might inspire in the process for me to become the best I can be for the God that I love. Anger and bitterness doesn't help me or build me up. In fact it would only keep me miserable. Yes, it is hard and yes, it hurts and yes, it gets lonely especially for the holidays without having someone to share it with, but I will be joyful because of the blessings I have all around me in this time of my life.

Ask God!
Believe and don't doubt
He gives generously
what are you trying to grow in me?
Something is broken in your life so that God can strengthen something else.

I also know that God is working in me. I feel it everyday and I see it in the proof of the blessings I have that help make me into the new person I am becoming. Here I am, a personal trainer, I have a job doing what I love, I workout and love it, I have my family, my youth, my health, my pug, a beautiful best friend and sister in Christ, a church home, the will in my heart to want to serve, and a passion for life again. Something broke in my life so that God could strengthen me! It is a process and it is hard, very very hard, but I am happy. I am genuinely happy.

Is something breaking in your life so that there can be room for God to strengthen you somewhere else?  Ask for God's blessings, believe He is working, and choose joy!

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So Thankful

Clearly this blogging thing is something I'm having a hard time getting back into, however, as my life starts to establish more of a routine and I get settled, I know I'll be able to get back into this consistently  I have so many plans and so many things I wanna share with you all that I hope can inspire you!

At the encouragement of a dear friend, I decided I'll try to post everyday for a bit just to get used to the habit of blogging again. I truly miss it and I have a lot to share! So what better a day to post than Thanksgiving Day!

It is absolutely necessary that we count our blessings and remain thankful every single day of our lives but a lot of us end up making a habit of taking things for granted, I'm totally guilty of that! I guess I am thankful for Thanksgiving Day where we are all forced to stop and think about our blessings. I truly believe that even in our hardships or when we feel hopeless, that there is always something to be thankful for starting with the fact that Christ died for us. :-)

Throughout the day I will be posting things I am soooo grateful for through Instagram (@okie_melina), here are a few of those:

My family

My Faith

My baby

My home

I thought I'd also share something I wrote in my journal today when I did my bible study:

"Through my current trials in my divorce and heartbreak, God has brought so much good in my life that has left me in awe of Him like how can anyone say he doesn't exist? I have found comfort in being with my family and extended family that I didn't have before. I found an amazing church home that challenges me and allows me to grow. I have met a best friend (a sister in Christ) I have been praying for who has become my support and partner in going through this new growth in my faith. I found a job doing what I wanted to do that has good people to work with and a good company to back it, and to have found employment so quickly in this economy, just so many blessings that show me that I am meant to be here."

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  ~ Romans 5:3-4

Praise Him, that I can be thankful!

What are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving! :-)

2-Week "Just Move" Challenge

When it comes to fitness the best way to keep up with a plan is to plan ahead for the pitfalls. With the holidays coming and family making tons of food or going out of town, it is easy to fall off your routine. Once that happens, it's even harder to get back on.

I am finding that now that I am a certified personal trainer, I stopped working out. It wasn't because I got the title but because of the timing of my life. I was able to make working out a part of my life on a daily basis without thinking about it for a whole year. I could have planned ahead for going out of town or for the holidays, but I didn't plan for divorce and moving and having to work to find employment and start up my dreams of running my own business.

I guess what I'm trying to show is that nobody is perfect. Not even someone who wants to make it a profession can be perfect with workouts. Are you struggling to keep up a routine or get back to a routine after falling off it like me? You aren't alone!

For me though, it isn't because I don't like it or don't have time or don't want to. It is because I got into a different routine that didn't include working out. Break one routine to get to another and you find yourself frustrated. However, I know that my routine of getting up, having a small breakfast, not eating all day, not exercising and then having a big dinner is only killing everything I worked hard for in the past year. I also know that it is dangerously close to gaining weight back.

So how do we bust our current bad habits to form the new good ones and make those a part of our routine? Well everyone responds differently to stimulus and change, but I'll share how I'm going to do it. It's the beginning of November! I should make this my month to get my routine back with or without a gym! I'm gonna call my strategy the "Just Move" Challenge!

Short cardio session boost (2 weeks) -
I'm going to (starting today) go for a 30 minute run everyday this week. I won't worry about weights, I won't worry about my diet, I'm just going to get my body back to moving. If I worry about anything else, I'm likely to stress about it. I do this for fun, so baby steps!
Next week (week 2) I'm going to alternate a 30 min run with a Bodyrock.tv session each day. Again just moving and then adding challenge. Like I said before, I'm not going to worry about anything else but just to get the cardio done.

Bring back the weight (2 weeks) -
The metal kind that is! After the 2 weeks of getting moving, I'll get back to my alternating of working out the upper body and lower body with cardio workouts. I wrote about that plan when I reviewed a booty workout that I wanted to try. I'll spend the last two weeks of November making that part of my routine again. (Assuming I haven't been hired anywhere and get a gym membership by then) Either way, I'm doing the cardio, adding my weight training but not changing anything of my diet just yet. Like I said, I just don't want to stress. (Of course this doesn't mean I'm going to eat like a pig!) 

This will bring us into December! I'm hoping by then workout is a part of my routine again on a daily basis and then I'm going to hone down on dropping my new bad eating habits I developed after my separation from my husband. :-/

Anyone in the same boat as me needing to develop or get back into a routine? How 'bout try my "just move" strategy with me! In fact, I challenge you to join me ;-)

Be sure to Like The STRONG Life on Facebook and let me know if you plan to join in! Let's keep tabs on each other. :-)