Dancing and Tears

When life throws us curveballs and/or we make decisions that cost us dearly, we find that we have to be strong. I fight everyday to keep positive, to keep a smile on my face, to hold on to hope and the trust in my faith in God. So far it has been working because I haven't had a breakdown in a while when the weaker me would probably have a permanent swollen face without doing those things I mentioned. I do hope to inspire others to be strong when faced with a challenge in this tough but amazing life we have, but let's be honest, we cry anyway.

Source: habitualbliss.tumblr.com via Melina on Pinterest

I believe that it is a cleansing process because being so strong all the time has the danger of suppressing that sad, pitiful part of us that we often reject for fear of suffering pain. In that attempt we end up hurting more because all of our parts need taking care of. (can you tell I've been in counseling for a while?) It is hard to learn how to take care of ourselves when we are struggling to get through the day, but at the same time, that is when we are called to be our strongest selves. It makes us better versions of ourselves. Can you imagine how a person would be if they had never suffered heartbreak or pain? I imagine that person wouldn't appreciate this life, they would be arrogant, and take those that love them for granted. This life is too short to be that way, so yeah pain is necessary for us to realize how truly blessed we are and to be thankful for those blessings in the midst of chaos.

Yesterday was a tough day for me, and on the thought of needing to cry, I definitely had a mini breakdown. Elevated heart rate, red splotchy nose and all that didn't last long because I couldn't hide out in the bathroom for much longer than the time it takes to poop. Of course, that moment of vulnerability inspired me to write this post to share how I deal with those moments that I know we have all been through for one reason or another. I spend most my days trying to be strong, keep a smile on my face, the whole fake-it-'till-you-make-it idea. This reminded me of a song that I kind of feel is me right now. There is a part of me that feels so broken and dead but another part of me that wants to keep dancing in this life. "Dancing with Tears in My Eyes" as performed by Ke$ha reminds me of how I feel right now. I'm honestly excited and happy with the things I have planned for myself and my future and that is me dancing, but with tears in my eyes because of what it took to get me to this point. Anyways, I thought I'd share the lyrics of that song and please pardon how it is such a high school girl thing to do, ;-p
"Here I go, this is my confessional. . ."


***
Here we go, welcome to my funeral
Without you I don't even have a pulse
All alone it's dark and cold
With every move I die

Here I go, this is my confessional
A lost cause, nobody can save my soul
I am so delusional
With every move I die

I have destroyed our love, it's gone
Payback is sick, it's all my fault

I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die

When did I become such a hypocrite?
Double life, lies that you caught me in
Trust me I'm paying for it
With every move I die

On the floor I'm just a zombie
Who I am is not who I wanna be
I'm such a tragedy
With every move I die

I have destroyed our love, it's gone
Payback is sick, it's all my fault

I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die

This is it and now you're really gone this time
Never once thought I'd be in pieces left behind

I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die


Tell me I'm not the only one who grasps at music to express emotion! Who am I kidding, I know for a fact we all do! So share a song you relate to right now, happy or sad or just plain fun. Share below in the comments or on The STRONG Life's Facebook Page.

P.S. I'm on a Cher Lloyd kick right now. Her album is great working out music! Or dancing music :-)

Our Thoughts To Our Destiny

It is beach day today! Yes I must apologize to those of you living north of South Florida but we are still warm here and I am loving it! It truly is a blessing that my parents moved down here when they did because had I been back in Oklahoma after my husband and I splitting, left to deal with the winter that always depresses me, I don't know if I would be able to stand it. Although, God has been doing a great job making me be able to stand it right now. It hasn't been the greatest of times lately, and yesterday I was feeling very blue but being at the beach will help. Anywhere where you can just be, sit in peace, close your eyes and feel lucky to be alive. . . now that is a little piece of heaven. :-)

Before moving down here I went to the library to check out a specific book, but on the way to that book another book caught my eye, I checked it out and it ended up being all the words I needed to hear. I swear that it was God making me grab that book so that through the words, He could speak to me to answer all my prayers, fears and cries to Him. That book was called Deal With It: You Cannot Conquer What You Will Not Confront by Paula White and I recommend it not only for the many passages and quotes you will want to write down (like I did) but also because she has a wonderful way of telling the stories of women in the Bible to apply the lessons to our own lives. I am hoping to buy it and own it but until I get a paycheck, the quotes I wrote in my journal will have to do.

I wanted to share this one today, I thought Sundays would be good for sharing inspirational quotes or scripture to start the week off with.

I dabbled a bit on positive thinking at the end of last week and this quote definitely shows why it is important to expel negativity from our minds:

I don't know about you but when I fight to keep my mind on the positive, that is when I find God speaking to me the most. I can't sit here and say that I don't ever get clouded with negative thoughts, it is something I struggle with, I'm sure we all do. But if you are conscious about a negative thought when it comes to you, confront it. Tell it that you will not keep it and then give it God. I find the more I confront my negative thoughts the more it becomes habit. I find my mind starting to recite positive quotes I remember or thinking, "It will be okay, it will be okay, it will be okay" Anything that wards off negativity, I find that it becomes habit. It is kind of funny because I am starting to feel my mind be split with the positive, strong part trying to reassure the negative, weary part.

Notice I say reassure and not suppress or get rid of. I believe all parts of us good or bad are who we are and we can't be ashamed of any part but rather embrace all those parts, take care of those parts and be at peace with those parts. So that negative nancy in your mind just needs to be reassured that you can do this! Why? Because through God, all things are possible!

If you haven't seen my 10-11-12 Challenge you should check it out and use it to jump start you mind on thinking about positive things. If you have a blog, I encourage you to write your own 10-11-12 post and share with me in the comments below or on The STRONG Life's Facebook Page.

How do you practice positive thinking?

What is Your 10-11-12?

The last two days were rough on me as I had to drive 8 hours to Pensacola, load up the rest of my belongings, sign divorce papers that felt more like stomping on my heart, say goodbye to a town I grew to love, and saddest of all, say goodbye to my husband. I got back to Cape Coral last night determined that today, being the first day of my new life, would need to be a good one.

Of course, I don't really pay attention to the dates since these days are all becoming a blur but now that I am making a promise to myself to be present in my life for now on, I just realized that today is 10-11-12! I was working on a post for tomorrow, but then I felt like I just had to come up with a fun post for today! Think of it as a Love Challenge for yourself. :-)

I'll call it 10 Things I'm Thankful For, 11 Things I Like About Myself, and 12 Things I Want to Accomplish This Year. I posted this morning on my Facebook Page about having positive thoughts so that you become a positive person, so here is a post putting that into practice. You should do it with me!

Okay, here goes:

10 Things I'm Thankful For

1. My Pug
2. My family living in Florida
3. Warm weather in the Fall
4. My health
5. My youth
6. The beach
7. Knowing love
8. The support of my family, a few close friends and an online community
9. Finding a new church home so quickly
10. Life lighting a fire under my butt to finally make my dreams happen!

11 Things I Like About Myself

1. My faith
2. My passion for learning
3. My hair
4. My ability to forgive easily
5. My compassion for others
6. My love for writing and fitness
7. That I can fit my entire shoe collection in a small suitcase (I know, I'm a disgrace to women everywhere, but I'm actually proud to not have spent so much on things I really want but don't need. The shoes are a symbol of that ability)
8. That I fully trust God more than ever and it feels good to not carry the burden of the unknown!
9. That I don't have many friends. I have few friends that are true and loyal
10. That I'm too nice. Maybe it's a flaw as well but I like it!
11. My new belief in myself. I've battled insecurity for so long but my confidence is slowly building and I KNOW I can achieve anything I work for. :-)

12 Things I Want to Accomplish This Year

1. Lose 5 more pounds
2. Finally get my Personal Training Certification
3. Work up to 3 mile runs again
4. Get back in a blogging routine of at least 3 times a week
5. Build my Facebook Page community to 100
6. Save $2,000
7. Start my business
8. Be able to take over all payments of stuff on my own (loans, insurance, phone, etc)
9. Buy a gym membership
10. Recruit my first paying client
11. Make a new friend in town
12. Build up an at-home "gym" with all the simple equipment needed to train and teach clients to reach their goals

I think I could have gone on longer on each thing but it's good to get you mind on a positive mindset about yourself. So go ahead, I challenge you to share your 10-11-12! You can comment below, share on The STRONG Life's Facebook page. OR if you have a blog, do your own 10-11-12 post and share the link to it in the comments below so that I can read yours! 

Go ahead, what is your 10-11-12? :-)