When life throws us curveballs and/or we make decisions that cost us dearly, we find that we have to be strong. I fight everyday to keep positive, to keep a smile on my face, to hold on to hope and the trust in my faith in God. So far it has been working because I haven't had a breakdown in a while when the weaker me would probably have a permanent swollen face without doing those things I mentioned. I do hope to inspire others to be strong when faced with a challenge in this tough but amazing life we have, but let's be honest, we cry anyway.
I believe that it is a cleansing process because being so strong all the time has the danger of suppressing that sad, pitiful part of us that we often reject for fear of suffering pain. In that attempt we end up hurting more because all of our parts need taking care of. (can you tell I've been in counseling for a while?) It is hard to learn how to take care of ourselves when we are struggling to get through the day, but at the same time, that is when we are called to be our strongest selves. It makes us better versions of ourselves. Can you imagine how a person would be if they had never suffered heartbreak or pain? I imagine that person wouldn't appreciate this life, they would be arrogant, and take those that love them for granted. This life is too short to be that way, so yeah pain is necessary for us to realize how truly blessed we are and to be thankful for those blessings in the midst of chaos.
Yesterday was a tough day for me, and on the thought of needing to cry, I definitely had a mini breakdown. Elevated heart rate, red splotchy nose and all that didn't last long because I couldn't hide out in the bathroom for much longer than the time it takes to poop. Of course, that moment of vulnerability inspired me to write this post to share how I deal with those moments that I know we have all been through for one reason or another. I spend most my days trying to be strong, keep a smile on my face, the whole fake-it-'till-you-make-it idea. This reminded me of a song that I kind of feel is me right now. There is a part of me that feels so broken and dead but another part of me that wants to keep dancing in this life. "Dancing with Tears in My Eyes" as performed by Ke$ha reminds me of how I feel right now. I'm honestly excited and happy with the things I have planned for myself and my future and that is me dancing, but with tears in my eyes because of what it took to get me to this point. Anyways, I thought I'd share the lyrics of that song and please pardon how it is such a high school girl thing to do, ;-p
"Here I go, this is my confessional. . ."
***
Here we go, welcome to my funeral
Without you I don't even have a pulse
All alone it's dark and cold
With every move I die
Here I go, this is my confessional
A lost cause, nobody can save my soul
I am so delusional
With every move I die
I have destroyed our love, it's gone
Payback is sick, it's all my fault
I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die
I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die
When did I become such a hypocrite?
Double life, lies that you caught me in
Trust me I'm paying for it
With every move I die
On the floor I'm just a zombie
Who I am is not who I wanna be
I'm such a tragedy
With every move I die
I have destroyed our love, it's gone
Payback is sick, it's all my fault
I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die
I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die
This is it and now you're really gone this time
Never once thought I'd be in pieces left behind
I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die
I'm fading, I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die
Tell me I'm not the only one who grasps at music to express emotion! Who am I kidding, I know for a fact we all do! So share a song you relate to right now, happy or sad or just plain fun. Share below in the comments or on The STRONG Life's Facebook Page.
P.S. I'm on a Cher Lloyd kick right now. Her album is great working out music! Or dancing music :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment